The Business of Me™
and
“Self-Ability®”
"Self-ability" is one's perception of what one is "able" to do.
Women survivors of domestic violence are so often mired in what they perceive is "wrong" with them that they carry that way of thinking into the way that they manage (or don’t manage) their personal finances. This is usually reinforced with negative self-talk and the belief that postponing dealing with money brings ease and buys time. "The Business of Me" helps these women understand positive ways of thinking about money - how to deal with negative self-talk - identify their values - and create a future based on the rewards that "self-ability" allows.
Acclaimed anthropologist, David Levinson, in a study of family violence that focused on battered women, found that in 90 societies incidents of battering were practically non-existent when women have economic independence and support from other women. In other words these women have “self-ability”.
“The Business of Me” provides these women the necessary tools to foster healthy attitudes towards money and money management, which is the first step in developing and maintaining financial self-sufficiency. We have seen it happen time and time again: women who once had no opportunity to develop financial skills have now become determined, proud, and independent. They learn “self-ability”.
Domestic Violence includes emotional and economic abuse. The abusive partner use both emotional domination and economic domination as a means to control their partner. The emotional abuse leads to a sense of worthlessness for the woman ultimately rendering her unable to believe she has the ability (self-ability) to manage money. The economic abuse is where the abusive partner maintains tight control of the finances which leaves the woman with little or no skills in money management.
“The Business of Me” workshop participants benefit from the program by learning how to create a budget and the importance of that budget in helping them to create a road map that will lead them to the future that they want. They learn not to be afraid of money and how to think positively about their financial lives by overcoming the effects of negative self-talk. The program helps them understand the importance of an emergency fund and how to create one as well as how to track expenses and how to handle debt.
“The Business of Me” is different from other workshops in budgeting and financial management in that it takes a holistic approach to the problem of financial dependency and lack of confidence in personal money management skills. In addition to teaching specific personal financial management techniques the program addresses abused women's fears of money and money management - fears that can be crippling and acute and that can often block their paths to financial stability and independence. These, as we know, are problems which very often block these women from leaving (or returning to) abusive relationships. In other words, “The Business of Me” teaches a woman how to develop “self-ability” and the financial skills they need to not return to a domestic violent relationship.
Approximately 85% of the women who leave domestic violence relationships return to the abusive relationship. All too often people assume that women stay or return to domestic violence relationships because they have low self-esteem. However, the reasons women stay or return is far more complicated than the strength of the woman's character. A significant proportion of women who return to the domestic violence relationship attribute their inability to deal with their finances as a major contributing factor, which is often enhanced by the fact that the abuser often has all of the economic and social standing. This is where The Business of Me plays such a vital role.
In most cases many of the women arrive at shelters have few more resources other than the clothes they are wearing. Some are bowed down with debt—either their partners' or their own. Still others tumble into debt after they have left a domestic violence situation, because they overspend on impulse or budget poorly. Very few are yet to address the emotional and psychological issues that have dictated their poor financial choices. Rarely, is a battered woman accustomed to managing her own money. Rarely does she have the confidence or “self-ability” to manage her financial affairs.
It is for these reasons that the landmark program, “The Business of Me”, is offered to women's shelters across the country. Domestic violence hurts us all let’s work together to help the women survivors of domestic violence develop the “self-ability” they need to break the cycle of domestic violence in their lives.
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About Nancy Salamone
Nancy Salamone’s career and personal accomplishments are vast and varied. For more than three decades Nancy has shown extraordinary leadership during her business career and through her personal endeavors.
Her accomplishments include 25 years as an executive for major Wall Street financial services companies, her devotion to “giving back” through her non-profit work, her teaching and her visionary creation of “The Business of Me”, a curriculum that teaches financial self-sufficiency to women survivors of domestic violence.
Learn more about The Business of Me and about how you can directly support a group, or groups of participants, women in need, who will learn the financial skills they need and overcome their fear of managing their personal finances. Please join The Business Of Me Corporate Coalition.
(C) Copyright 2009. Nancy Salamone. All Rights Reserved.
