Domestic Violence – Breaking The Cycle of Spousal Abuse

Domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, is an escalating problem throughout America, made worse, of course by our current economic crisis.

Even before the economic turn-down statistics show that there has been a dramatic increase in the reported occurrences of domestic violence incidents across the nation[1]. Professional estimates indicate that three to four million American women are victimized by domestic violence every year.

Domestic violence affects all socioeconomic, ethnic, racial, age, national origin, sexual orientation, and religious groups. Domestic violence has a negative impact on individuals and families, as well as the economy and society in general. It is reasonable to assume that the domestic violence crisis is more widespread than estimated though, since most domestic violence victims do not report offenses.

Women who do manage to find assistance arrive at shelters with few resources other than the clothes on their backs. Some are crippled with debt – their own or their partner's. Others tumble into debt after they have left violent situations, because they overspend on impulse or budget improperly. Few address the emotional and psychological issues resulting from their poor financial choices. Rarely is a survivor of domestic violence accustomed to managing her own money. This is where programs like “The Business Of Me” play a vital role in helping to end the cycle of recurring domestic violence.

Approximately 85% of the women who leave domestic violence relationships return to them. All too often people assume that women stay in, or return to, domestic violence relationships because they suffer from low self-esteem. However, the reasons women stay or return is far more complex than this. A significant portion of the women who return to domestic violence relationships attribute their inabilities to handle their finances as the major contributing factor which is often underscored by the fact that the abuser maintains control over economic and social resources. “The Business Of Me” teaches women survivors of domestic violence to handle their personal finances through our curriculum that includes instruction about real-world financial skills and what “The Business Of Me” calls “Self-Ability”.

Many institutions support victims of domestic violence, but few serve to support these women in assuming independence over their lives by taking charge of their finances and helping them to overcome their fear of managing their own finances. There are many other obstacles faced by victims of domestic violence in their need to create the future they want by helping to overcome their dependency from their domestically violent spouse or boyfriend. For example: ^iv

• Clergy and secular counselors are trained only to work toward “saving” the marriage at all costs.

• Police are reluctant to become involved in domestic violence incidents and often dissuade women from filing charges. When police do become involved they generally treat these situations as domestic “disputes” rather than the domestic violence crimes that they are.

• Prosecutors are reluctant to prosecute domestic violence cases and judges rarely levy maximum sentences on convicted abusers. Probation, fines and restraining orders are much more common.

• While restraining orders are designed to create protective barriers between victims of domestic violence and their abusers, these orders do little to prevent the abusers from returning and continually assaulting their victims. Often, restraining orders further inflame abusers making matters worse. This often results in escalated levels of abuse.

• Despite the increased availability of housing for women fleeing their violent partners, there are still not enough shelters to protect the millions of women and children escaping these domestic violent situations each year.

Hundreds of millions of dollars are spent annually on legal, health and welfare services as a result of domestic violence[2]. The costs to American communities, frightened women and children, health care, counseling and welfare services are monumental.

Clearly, it is imperative that domestic violence becomes a matter of focused public concern but, unfortunately, many people view domestic violence as a private matter in which “outsiders” should not interfere. It is not easy for Americans to accept that our homes and families may be the setting for dangerous and life-threatening violence.

Learning about the truths and myths associated with domestic violence, the affect it has on children, how the judicial system addresses it, and how social workers approach the problem can aid society and professionals in finding solutions to the widespread crisis of domestic violence.

Click here to Help Us Help End The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Or contact Nancy Salamone at The Business Of Me

Originally Published November 21, 2009

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Nancy Salamone’s career and personal accomplishments are vast and varied. For more than three decades Nancy has shown extraordinary leadership during her business career and through her personal endeavors.

Her accomplishments include 25 years as an executive for major Wall Street financial services companies, her devotion to “giving back” through her non-profit work, her teaching and her visionary creation of “The Business of Me”, a curriculum that teaches financial self-sufficiency to women survivors of domestic violence.

Learn more about The Business of Me and about how you can directly support a group, or groups of participants, women in need, who will learn the financial skills they need and overcome their fear of managing their personal finances. Please join The Business Of Me Corporate Coalition.

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